Wish Me Luck..


Sorry! No Sex here. Life just keeps getting in the way.

I’ve been a nervous wreck for the last month. And this week it’s gotten worse.  You see I’ve or we’ve thought about it and decided that it’s now or never.

I’m having a minimally invasive spinal fusion on March 12th. At an out-patient surgery center in Altamonte Springs, Florida. We met with the Doctor here in Jersey in January. And I really think he can help me. No bad vibes, he’s confident and cocky at the same time. And he’s even given us his personal cell phone number for questions. Yes we called him to see if he had given us the real number.

You all know that we are trying to get things in order so we can leave NJ and move to Florida. We had plans to leave this month, but with my Mom so sick with Cancer I can’t leave knowing she could die while I’m so far away.

I had started  searching for the right pain management doctor back in November.  I must have sent out ten e-mails. I received two phone calls that wished me luck and the third call was from Orthopedic Laser Spine Surgery Center.

They sent me for an updated MRI. And after they saw what I had been living with they called and put the head surgeon on the phone. We went back and forth with questions and answers. Then doctor Katzman said he could fix me with minimally invasive out-patient surgery.The tears streamed down my face as I told him he was blowing my mind.

I’ve been living with chronic back pain for 26 yrs. Ever since a car accident in 1988, and an open back surgery called a Lumbar Laminectomy in 1989. Back then the dye used for a  mylagram was filled with a certain oil that gave patients something called, Arachnoiditis. And Yes of course I got this horrible disease that is clumping of the nerves. Like spider webs. Yes I’ve heard all the Arachnophobia jokes and no I don’t have spiders running through my nerves.

Now when you live with this kind of chronic pain the only way to have quality of life is to take narcotics. I don’t get high off of them. I don’t abuse them. I take as prescribed. I actually hate the fact that I have to take these kinds of meds to live my life. The alternative would be to scream my head off and cry while I wait to die.

And I’m not alone. I bet that most of you didn’t know that there is currently one hundred million Americans living with chronic pain each and ever day in the U.S. . And that number keeps growing every year.

Now with that said you all know that I have a sick mom who is dying of Cancer. She lives two hours away from me in Pennsylvania. We have decided to stay here in Jersey until as my Mother puts it,  she leaves for Europe on a one way ticket and doesn’t come back.  Yes she is amazing, and so brave, I can’t tell you all how proud I am of my Mom.  She wants me to have this surgery before she does go to Europe, wink, wink.  So with the green light given for this surgery we are leaving on Monday the 9th. And I will recuperate in paradise until we come back on the 25th. Then we will finish packing for our move to Florida. And let the chips fall where they may.

Now let me explain a little about Florida and pain medication. You can’t get pain medication in Florida. Reason being: Florida went crazy a few years back with pain clinics on every corner. And so every addict from across the country went to Florida for narcotics. And they didn’t care that they were ruining lives of the real people who live with chronic pain everyday. Then Florida made laws that went too far.

The DEA doesn’t care about the people living with chronic pain. They only care about keeping their jobs. I think the Marijuana laws have sent the DEA over the edge. So they keep making more and more rules for narcotics. The DEA is bound and determined to put Pain management doctors out of business. And they like giving out citations to pharmacies and the pharmacist who fill narcotic prescriptions.  They’ve even went so far as to limit the amounts of narcotics each pharmacy gets every month. Once the meds are gone the pharmacies can’t re-order till the next month.

So as you can imagine Yes Profiling is going on in pharmacies all over the country. If you look like an addict, (what ever that means) you don’t get your scripts filled. Pharmacist will look for any excuse not to fill narcotic scripts. It’s scary to think I could be screaming in pain and my life is in the hands of a pissed off pharmacist who’s scared I might be an addict.

The actual addicts don’t have any trouble getting their drugs. They doctor shop all the time. Meaning they go from doctor to doctor each month. Then they go to different pharmacies to fill these scripts.

There is actually a system in place that could stop this doctor shopping. And all pharmacies across the country have this system in their computers. If they wanted to they could see if a patient had the same narcotic script filled at another pharmacy within the last thirty days. Then they could flag that patient and the doctor and pharmacy shopping would stop. But I guess pharmacies would rather not do their jobs. And instead they go to college, get their degrees in pharmacology only to ring up aspirin, Aleve, band-aids, and non-narcotic prescriptions.

This is why I am going for the minimally invasive surgery. I am hoping and praying with all my might that the doctor is right and this surgery takes away at least fifty percent of the pain.

And I refuse to live in Jersey any longer than I have too. We have dreamed of the day we would retire, and the time is now. So with everything that’s been going on in the last year: My Mom with Cancer, waiting for Pepsi cola to settle Mike’s cases, and the packing, I booked my spinal fusion surgery right dab smack in the middle of all this madness.

I’m sure by now you’re saying Who does this? Well I do.  If I don’t have this surgery now my Mom may not be here to see me get some actual relief.  She’s holding on but things aren’t looking good.

I only hope that she doesn’t die before I get back. She has had the talk with me. Yes that talk where she says you have to live your life for you. You have to go to Florida and live for the both of us. It’s so hard to believe that a year ago she was fine. And we were making plans to live in Florida together. In an instant life can change.

You have to know that I’ve been a crazy woman lately. I cry every day thinking about all that’s going on.  So when Mike tells me I am beautiful everyday I know he’s lying.  Cause my eyes are red, my nose is chapped, the pain is worse from the cold temps here in Jersey and the stress. and I am just a mess.

So the reason I’m writing all this on my Sexy blog is because I’m going to be laid up in a bad way for a while. The actual surgery is about three and half hours. Then I go to recovery. Then I go to a hotel.

Yes I am doing this as an out-patient in a surgical center. I could have stayed one night in a hospital but I’ve been there done that. I found out the hard way that when you take the kinds of medications that I have to take for pain you are treated and ignored as if you really are a drug addict with the plague.

As soon as you tell a nurse or doctor that you have three fentanyl patches stuck to your back their whole demeanor changes. The respect goes away. And you are left alone for hours waiting and wondering why you ever thought this time would be different.  Even when you are not asking for pain meds. And even when you are as coherent as they are.

Now I know I’m going to be in excruciating pain for at least the first five to seven days. But it’s that first night I am dreading the most. I feel so bad for Mike. Yes he’s been through hell too. And he has been told to keep the drugs coming. If we can make it through that first night, and the two and half hour drive back to my best friends home on Friday than I should be alright.

I promise I will have Mike post something.

My plan is to be walking around the block with Mike and my chihuahua Louie by the second week and before we leave. I do believe sitting outside in the sunshine watching the palm trees sway in the wind and seeing those wacky birds that walk the streets will only do me good. I also have to walk on the beach at least once before I come home.  We are taking this trip day by day. If I can’t come home on the twenty-fifth then so be it.

So wish me luck my blogging family. Prayers, lighting candles, Wiccan rituals, are all welcome. I have one Sexy Sunday written but the rest just might have to wait.

Love and lots of Jersey Hugs!!! Annie


Just in case you are in pain or want to see where I’m going here is the info. http://www.orthopedicandlaserspinesurgery.com

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