I’m so mad at DH

I’m thinking Bonnie and her husband need to find some new ways to spice up their sex life. Maybe you all can add some ideas for this couple. I’m thinking put some porn in on the TV and see what he does. Dress up in something he would never expect you to wear. Sometimes the unexpected can add that spark of kink that gets his juices flowing.

24 thoughts on “I’m so mad at DH

        • Makes perfect sense. But Bonnie still needs to find out why he’s not as interested, What changed? Is it a health problem that he’s not ready to face just yet, Or is it something else?

          Men are funny about their hard-on’s. They think if they need a blue pill that it’s somehow a bad thing. When in fact women don’t mind the stamina one bit, he he.. So guys, Bring on the blue pills. We are up for the challenge. 😉

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            • I Think you are right about this Cara. I didn’t think of it that way. He won’t be able to keep his eyes off of her. He will want to touch her all the time. She still needs to talk to him about that one minute encounter. She sure didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Thanks Cara. 🙂

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              • Well we ALL deserve more than one minute, but she needs to create interest. He CAN get it up (as evidenced by that one minute encounter) so he maybe doesn’t need viagra. He needs to WANT it like he did when they first met.

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                • Cara one minute would piss me off too. Men can get strange when their manhood isn’t working right. They don’t want to admit that there could be a problem.
                  I think Bonnie enticing him is a good thing.
                  This way she can show him what he will get once he faces this problem head on so to speak. 😉

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  1. This is a classic case of a man who is having physical problems and does not want to deal with it out of fear, which could even be a sign of heart trouble. He’s cuming so fast because he knows he won’t be able to keep his erections for too long after arousal. Men HATE talking about this. He brought up Viagra because he knows he may need it. The fact that he can still get erections and have orgasms is a good sign, but it sounds like he needs days to recover.

    Going the natural route is far, far better because once you start Viagra and testosterone your body starts shutting down the ability of doing it without the drugs. The natural route takes serious dedication and time. Bad sleeping habits, stress and worry, diet, and certain medications can exacerbate the situation.

    I know all of this because my Sir is in the health field and deals with middle-aged men everyday who are dealing with this. He himself is 56 and works hard at his health because he knows he has to in order to avoid going the medication rate. She must handle this delicately because he’s not handling it well.

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    • Thanks Elle, This is some great information for every man and woman. If he’s not going to find out what’s wrong it might be time for her to take matters into her own hands and make him an appointment at the specialist. Once they figure this out their sex life can get back on track. And Bonnie keep us posted. I am sure that others can learn from what you’re going through. Take a deep breath cause I think you are going to need it. Hugs to you and Elle. 🙂

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    • Let me first say that I love this man more than anything. Well except my kids. 🙂 But that is different.

      I don’t want to offend him. I only want the best for him. I know he’s in denial. There’s not much I can do about that.. He would never go to a specialist. Hell he won’t even tell his doctor..

      I’m sure that’s the reason that he uses the toys on me to get me to where he thinks I’ll have an Orgasam. He loves the way I react when he’s making love to me…

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      • I know you love him. He is in the same situation as many men and I bet he will come around. It sometimes takes a little time for them to wrap their head around it. My husband felt the decline as he approached 54. Long work hours and financial stresses were taking a toll on him. He refused to go for testosterone treatments because there are some serious risks, but he did get tested and he was low. Since he’s in the fitness and health industry he made it a priority to find out absolutely EVERYTHING he could do to increase his T naturally. He adjusted all his workouts and I addressed all l the nutritional things. We made sleep a priority, too. Melatonin has helped as well as a new mattress and pillows and blackout curtains. He gets better quality sleep and that was one of the biggest helps. He was able to double his T in about 6 months. My support was to not harp on it and to not bring it up constantly. He put a plan in place and worked the plan. Men love to do that. While in transition we looked for ways to supplement or sex lives. I masturbated in front of him while he gave me direction and masturbated on me while I assisted. We are D/s couple that are into BDSM so we did a lot more impact play. Not every scene ended in sex and it doesn’t have to. We removed the pressure to always end our intimate times with vaginal penetration with his penis and it helped us relax about it all. Any and all toys are welcome. If he needed to cum first then fine. Sometimes it was just his pleasure and sometimes it was just mine. There were enough times in there that we both got off. The key here is to remain intimate and engaged with one another in a variety of ways. A big help was to stop reading blogs that made it seem like they had sex everyday for 3 hours and had 25 orgasms each. I call bullshit on those people.

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        • Elle, I have missed your post. 🙂 You are so open and honest and you always give great advice. I too call Bullshit on on those couples having sex five times a day for hours at a time. What the fuck could they possibly be doing? And Do they have jobs, or ever clean the house? Ahaha.

          Relationships, life and sex is all about pleasing each other. I love pleasing my Sir, and in turn he so enjoys pleasing me.

          Bonnie, Elle is right the key is to remain intimate and engaged with one another, Variety is the spice of life. Words to live by. Just be there for him. Enticing him is a good thing. It lets him know that no matter what you still want him and his touch. 🙂

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        • I’ve been doing my best not to be so needy.. I’m hoping he will notice. Not sure how he doesn’t notice, then again he probably notices and just doesn’t want to say anything… I know I use to bring sex up a LOT…….. I just got in the habit of doing it, and not I’m trying to stop and think before I say anything. Which is hard for me.. I usually just blrt things out.

          It’s like Damn I think of sex all the time.. I need a hobby..

          I don’t believe the blogs that say they have sex all the time either. Not sure what their trying to prove.. Except they get a lot of sex!!!!!!!!!

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          • Bonnie, You are a good wife, and you love your husband. Sex is important, That’s why it’s one of the five keys I talk about in almost every blog post. But I do believe that as women get older we need more sex. It’s as if a switch gets flipped. Or at least that’s what happened to me starting in my late forties. I was like where the heck did this come from? All of a sudden my clit woke up,:-) Now I’m not saying I want it twenty four seven. But If my back wasn’t the way it is I would be having some kind of sex at least every other day.

            While you both try and figure things out Get yourself a magic wand. Let him see that you’re taking matters into your own hands, literally. 😉 If it was you that wasn’t interested I have no doubts that he would be taking care of his own business. Hugs!!

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  2. Annie you have hit the nail on the head. He needs to use the little blue pill but is ashamed to admit it. This has been going on for years and he still refuses to admit it.

    I still need to figure things out. As to be honest I’m still a little mad.

    So I’m going to take Cara’s advice………..

    Although I have toys, like I tell DH they can never replace the way he touches me…. It’s not the same.

    He says he’s better. I’ve got news for him. It’s NOT. I know the difference between what his dick once felt like and what it feels like now. He won’t admit it. I just looked at him when he told me that.. I wonded if he actually believes it??We’ve had this discussion plenty of times.

    I’ve started going to bed before him.. I was going to bed without kissing him last week. That is till I started to bed one night and he was like give me a kiss. You haven’t been kissing me. So I looked at him and said. You know you can get up and give me a kiss before I go to bed, instead of me always coming over and giving you a kiss before I go to bed!!!!!!!! He just smiled. So I was like you are a spoiled husband…………….

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    • Why are men so damn stubborn? If we had a problem they would be on us so fast. Telling us to take care of ourselves. As Elle has said talk to your Doctor. Men and their manhood can be a sticky situation. I bet he’s moody because he knows somethings not right. Patience Bonnie. I know this has to be tuff on you. The kids just left the nest and you are raring to go. The good news is that this is fixable. He just has to know that you are behind him and that you will both figure this out together. When you finally do your sex life is going to be Amazing!! Mr Kinky will be back! If he won’t talk about it tell him that you are making him an appointment. I bet he will be relieved. Just know that we are here for you. And that it’s all going to be alright. You didn’t get to Thirty plus years without some bumps in the road. Hugs!! 🙂

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Just sayin..

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