I am Submissive, Sexy Sunday # 25

 

I am Submissive..

 

So I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now. And I’ve come to the conclusion that my readers are ready for this. And I’m ready for this. So here goes.

I posted a picture on my page just yesterday to see what would happen. The caption was Vanilla couples could learn a lot from the BDSM community.  And let me tell you a lot of people responded to that post. So this is how I knew it was alright to take my blog up a notch or two.

I’m not saying being in a vanilla relationship is wrong or that a vanilla sex can’t work. There are lots of people who live vanilla lives. And their sex has been vanilla for years. And for most people this is the norm. It works for their relationship.  Or does it?

What I am saying is a Dom/sub relationships have a set behavior with customs, and rules. We don’t take each other for granted.  You have two people giving themselves to the other. We Both love honor and cherish one another.  But here’s the difference. In a D/s relationship the trust, honesty and communication are a must.

If it’s not there then the relationship won’t work, period end of report.  Being true to yourself as well as having your partner being open and honest with you can be and is truly liberating.

My husband and I have no secrets between us. We have the same bank accounts. The same last name. We know each other inside and out. He takes me as I am and I him.  He knows when I’m having a bad day sometimes before I do. We talk about our feelings and needs. And when he’s not his usual happy self I know to sit down with him and talk about what’s going through his head.

When you do this on a daily basis your relationship grows stronger. It can’t help but not grow. And you become one.

We all see so many couples that say they have it all. They are full of shit. The reason being is they’re not talking about having the actual relationship. They’re talking about material things. The house, the boat, the expensive cars, and the designer duds.

I can live without all those things as long as I have the connection and relationship that I have with my life partner. He truly is the one that knows me best. He gets me better than anyone else. And material things aren’t going to give you that warm and tingly feeling.

Do we argue? You’re damn right we argue. Every couple has arguments. We are individuals.  And each of us has our own thought patterns. The difference is he respects my opinions. And I respect his.

When we have a disagreement about something stupid we make sure not to cut deep. I’ve seen this with other couples. It’s mean and hurtful. And sometimes you can’t come back from an argument like that. It’s hard to forget when you are being disrespected. When names are being called you can feel demoralized. I’ve had that kind of relationship.  And I was bound and determined to never repeat it.

In a Dominant and submissive or D/s relationship there doesn’t have to be physical contact for couples to connect. Of course there is physical contact but it’s not necessary. There’s a meeting of the minds so to speak. They’re more open and on a daily basis. And the connection can be or is beautiful.

Where as a vanilla relationship communication doesn’t come easy. They don’t work on their relationships. It is what it is. But if you ask any happily married couple that’s been together for a long time. Meaning been in a committed long-term relationship of ten years or longer.

They will tell you that it’s a lot of work. And that it takes communication along with an understanding that the other is more important than you are. It’s the only way to have what they have.

In all relationships it’s give and take. But it’s hardly ever fifty/fifty. Most times I would say it’s seventy thirty. And that seventy is usually on the one that takes care of the kids along with their job, and household chores.

Or in my case; I’m the stay at home disabled housewife. My other half takes on more than he has too. But he does it because he loves me. And he doesn’t want to see me struggle. He doesn’t want to see me in any more pain then I have to be in. And he never complains about it either.

Lets face it life gets in the way of our relationships. That’s the same in D/s relationships.  But the difference is the connection is never broken. If the sub’s having a bad day the Dom will make sure she opens up and talks about what it is that’s bothering her. We are not left alone with our thoughts for any length of time. And that’s a good thing. No stewing over something that’s really not that big of a deal. Or if it is a big deal, we work on it together. In doing that your relationship becomes stronger.  Are you doing this in your relationship?

Now most of you are thinking what the hell Annie? Why would I want to be in a relationship where I’m a submissive to a Dominant?  If you’ve listened to anything I’ve just said it’s really not about being submissive to your almighty Dom. It’s about working together. Most times women can’t get their man/partner’s to talk about anything. But in a D/s world talking is a main ingredient for both.

And I bet you thought BDSM was all about kinky Sex. Well if that’s what you thought you would be wrong. BDSM is a way of life. And more than likely you already know couples that live the lifestyle.  But they aren’t open to letting you in on their kinky secret.

Most people don’t realize that the BDSM couple is your neighbor or co-worker. They’re everyday people living their lives just like the rest.  But in a D/s relationship the thought of Sexy Sunday starts as soon as they open their eyes on a Sunday morning, and every morning.

The one thing that’s absolutely different in the BDSM relationship is the sex. This is the couple that’s sexually adventurous and they aren’t afraid to try new things. Most times it’s the Dom or the head of household that might bring something new and exciting into the relationship. This is how it happens in my humble abode. And for the sub that’s me, it’s the anticipation of knowing that the sex is always going to be passionate and hot.

I never have to worry about my husband/Dom. He makes sure I am satisfied before he is. There is no five-minute quickie where he dumps his load rolls over and it’s done. That’s just not what happens in most kinky bedrooms, kitchens, bathrooms, dining rooms or garages. Sure there are times when I’m just not in the mood. The difference is I’m not pushed or made to feel bad about it. My Dom is loving, he cares about my well-being. And that’s because we talk about everything.

So there you have it. The jig is up, I am submissive. We are not freaks out at a club every night. We are people just like you. Our way of thinking works for us. And we are mostly happy in our relationships. As with every couple not one is more perfect than the next. But as you all know I’ve been with my husband or Sir for thirty years.

We did the vanilla. And when it got boring it was my Sir who spiced up our sex lives. We’ve always had the connection and the communication. But now we have so much more. I only wish we did it sooner. Cause it just keeps getting better.  I hope you all have a #SexySunday.  And don’t forget the lube..

PS, I’m hoping now that you can all see why I can’t stress enough in my Sexy Sunday post that communication, trust, honesty, respect, and sex are keys to an amazing relationship. I’ve gone back and read each one and I do see that I am a bit repetitive. I’m going to try to write about different things each week. Thanks for sticking with me. a

Goodvibes.com

http://www.fetlife.com,  for more information on the BDSM lifestyle.

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31 thoughts on “I am Submissive, Sexy Sunday # 25

  1. Pingback: I am Submissive, Sexy Sunday # 25 | theresamoretimer

    • Basically I’m still winging it Tre, Lol.. But I do know that Vanilla is fine but if you try adding some kink it’s that much better.. And once you find that very capable Gentlemen Sir that’s when it’s over. Letting go of my inhibitions was the best thing I ever did. When I asked my Sir why he didn’t ask me to do this sooner, his answer was that he knew I wasn’t ready. Now that’s just a true gentlemen. Cause OMG! He sure was ready for me. Ahahah.. I hope one day you find your gentlemen Sir Tre.. When you do you will know it..and I want to hear all about it.. Thanks for the comment.. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Annie,
        I have reached that time finally where I honestly want to meet someone, but I am not forcing it. When God knows I’m ready it will happen easily. It won’t be something that I will forced into. It has been a long time since I have dated and an extremely long time since I have had sex (more than 4 years) but my injuries wouldn’t allow it. Of course there are many different ways to find satisfaction as opposed to the traditional manner 😉 hehehe

        Liked by 1 person

        • You are so right, When it’s right it will be right, No rushing, although 4 yrs is a long time. That Lucky guy isn’t going to know what hit him, haha..

          Don’t go looking Tre, he will find you. And you will know instantly if he;s the one. Look into his eyes, Magic does happen. It happened to me..In one night and I still can’t believe it.It was like no one else was in the room.

          As for injuries and Sex well I have quite a few of those. And that never stopped a good woman, lol.. Where there’s a will there certainly is a way. Go get-em Tiger, MeOWW.. Hugs my friend..

          PS..And I want to hear all about it..lol.. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        • There’s no reply under your last post, so this will have to do Tre, A few erotica’s I can’t wait to see what you start writing when you finally get back in the saddle once again, Giddy_up!! hahah..

          Like

  2. Miss Annie- good girl! Nice to you have you exposed, well, so to speak. 😉 And I’m glad you’re submissive and freely embracing it. Thanks too for your comments along the same lines over at our blog today. Right on the mark! 🙂

    I did a post a while back on D/s communication. I think it speaks to exactly what you’ve surfaced here. Communication is paramount and you’re nowhere without it.

    Lastly, I would say that Mynx and I have a bit different perspective regarding BDSM sex and D/s. I think the kinky is for the bedroom and can have seductive overtones by day, but for the most part, BDSM stays where it is because of the children afoote. D/s, however, transcends both environments when you move the D/s beyond the bedroom door into your daily life. It is then that it becomes a lifestyle or way of life.

    -Love passionately miss Annie-

    -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now why is it that I’m blushing right now, Lol.. Mr. Mynx’s Sir thank you and Mynx’s. You are both an inspiration to me and mine. And so many others who love reading to your stories.

      I almost didn’t use that title. But then I thought what the heck, It’s time to stop pussy footing around and get on with it, haha,, Yes it feels really good. Now I have to figure out what to post next week,Ugh! Am I ready for that? we’ shall see Mr. Mynx’s Sir. Thanks again I promise to love passionately, Is there any other way? Don’t answer that.. 😉

      Like

      • Well, “Bang like a Bunny” just doesn’t carry the same connotation, now does it? LOL… So -Love Passionately- fits all genders, all kinks, all roles -and- just sounds like it ought to be sexxxie, right? So that’s my mantra, if you live, love and have passion, then -Love Passionately- and what the hell, bang like a bunny too, why not?!?!?! 😉

        -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ahaha, We’ve never had a problem bang-in like bunnies, In fact we have do not disturb signs that we have to put on the front and back doors. Neighbors, friends, and family too have walked in on us over the years, lol.
          And yes we absolutely Love passionately, You don’t stay married for thirty years without passion.

          You see I married my best friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, Love..That was printed on our wedding invite all those years ago.. We’ve been through so much and have never wavered from our vows. We could add a few, lol.. Thanks Mynx’s Sir..

          Like

  3. Great stuff Annie. You go girl! The D/s life lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle & a great one @ that. Not for everyone, that’s for sure.
    I’m glad you are embracing it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh yes, I’m embracing it alright, Life is just to damn short not too.
      This week I saw so many post with submissive in the titles well I almost postponed till next. Lol.. But it was the D in the D/s that told me to post it anyway. And I’m glad I did. Oh and I posted your book to twitter and to my facebook.com/Annieedmondsauthor/ page..Yes its for 18 &older.. You’re an author and I support all authors.

      Thanks for the support and comment Billy, I appreciate it Sir.. 🙂

      Like

    • Thanks DG, It is all about the R-E-S-P-E-C-T and communication. There has to be both in any kind of relationship. Add the honestly and trust and you have a solid relationship. Thanks for the comment, I love opening my page and seeing five comments. I was told it would start slow and it has. But as long as I’m getting one I’m happy.. 🙂

      Like

  4. Pingback: I am Submissive, Sexy Sunday # 25 | SEX w/ Annie, Let's Talk about Sex!

  5. Great write up, Annie. While D/s may not be for everyone, the adherence to the most basic principles of any relationship is still and always will be paramount.

    I couldn’t have put it any better, so I’ll just say this without stepping on toes, “Good Girl.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Giggling, Thank you Kneesocks DaddyDom, I have a few Dom’s that will post comments and I find it refreshing to hear all of your points of view. Thanks again..

      Like

    • Oopsie, I’m sorry I missed your post.
      What a nice thing to say Mike, I do try and tell it like it is. And with this post in particular it wasn’t easy for me to hit the publish button. But once I did I felt a sense of relief. It’s like opening up a new door into a new world. I do hope you stop by again. Any questions? Feel free to ask. Thanks again, 🙂

      Like

    • Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. It’s nice to know that there are some behind the scenes that are devoted to my blog. Hugs!!

      Like

Just sayin..

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